Seeing Others

“There are few things as fulfilling as that sense of being seen and understood.” David Brooks

The wise moves of a person 

In his recently published book, How to Know a Person, Brooks states, “Wise people don’t just possess information; they possess a compassionate understanding of other people. They know about life.”

Wise people do not mistake knowledge for wisdom. Often times those with a high degree of dependence on their rational brain neglect the messages sent from their heart or gut brain. When all three brains are active and aligned, a compassionate understanding and empathy for others is a part of their being.

Brooks goes on to state, “There is one skill that lies at the heart of any healthy person, family, school, community organization, or society: the ability to see someone else deeply and make them feel seen—to accurately know another person, to let them feel valued heard, and understood.”

Building inclusive coaching

The International Coaching Federation (IFC) Code of Ethics includes in its key definitions two guidelines for coaches:

• Equality—a situation in which all people experience inclusion, access to resources and opportunity, regardless of their race, ethnicity, national origin, color, gender, sexual orientation, gender identity, age, religion, immigration status, mental or physical disability, and other areas of human difference.
• “Systemic equality”-gender equality, race equality, and other forms of equality that are institutionalized in the ethics, core values, policies, structures, and cultures of communities, organizations, nations, and society.

Deep listening 

To See another person in their fullness, it is critical to recognize and set aside our own filters and the barriers to understanding they potentially create. Only then are we capable of truly understanding another. Ralph Nichols says, “The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them.” Deep listening requires full presence, minus our preconceived notions and stereotypes.