An upcoming difficult or tough meeting with parent(s), staff, supervisor
Consider this: Much of our anxiety or stress for an upcoming, (perceived) difficult meeting comes from our brain’s tendency to default to the worst case scenario. (threat response) Presuming positive intent of the person, having clear, mutually agreed upon outcomes, planning thoroughly and applying our best listening skills will ensure a positive result.
- How do you want to be in this meeting? What core values will support your mindset, attitude, and language?
- If you were the parent, (the staff member or the supervisor) what would they want to hear from you?
- How will you “witness the struggle” so that they feel worthy and know you want to hear them? (essential skills & SCARF)
- How will reviewing the Difficult Conversation frame support the best outcome?
Language Possibilities
During the Conversation
Listen, paraphrase, and ask powerful questions that create new insights, interrogate reality, provoke learning, recognize feelings, offer clarity, and identify new options or pathways. Frequently use value statements, where appropriate, to convey positive intent. (throughout the interaction)
- Inquire about your partner’s views using positive intent.
- “You care a lot about the outcome of our conversation today and I want to hear your perspective on this.”
- Use paraphrasing and reflective feedback to move the conversation forward and probe toward greater clarity & understanding.
- “So it sounds like you really have not had any clue that there is a problem. What are you typically doing to keep a pulse on parents’ level of satisfaction?”
- Acknowledge your partner’s position.
- “You are truly shocked and hurt by the accusation.”
- If your partner expresses ideas that are counter to yours, express your concerns and issues in a neutral tone of voice without emotion, sarcasm, or blame.
- “Because it’s clear this has hurt you and you want to be seen as a respected professional, how are you thinking you want to go about correcting the perception or situation?”
Ending the Conversation
- “From our conversation, it’s clear you care deeply about improving the situation. What will be 2 or 3 of your next steps?”
- “What is this situation teaching you?”
- “How is it informing your thinking, actions and or behaviors?”
- “What has been most helpful from our conversation?”